I still need to be the Mommy… Days 7 & 8

So I was sooo tired on Wednesday and we still had 2 days to go.  I woke up and was run down.  We headed off first thing in the morning to go to Universal, long story short, we only gave ourselves about twice as long as the GPS said it should take, so since it’s LA we were still an hour late.

So we got in late and I continued to tell the kids to keep a positive attitude even though we were an hour late. After about an hour I could tell that I wasn’t just run down, I’d definitely picked up a bug since I was overdoing it and my immune system was running down.  A certain child was very upset at how “scary” everything was (some were, but some were just ridiculous).  Universal (in Hollywood) is really cool, but doesn’t have that many attractions, so we were able to get to every single ride.  However, I wasn’t because this child insisted on not going.  Someone had to stay with her, so it was me.  It was infuriating to the other children, but at whatever point I had to just be ok with it.  (more on this on Day 7)

At whatever point, I was exhausted (and starting to get a cold) and a little dizzy and I told them we had to call it a night even though the place hadn’t closed yet (although apparently it was only 10 minutes before closing) and so we drove home.  All I could think was I couldn’t do one more day.  It was fun, though.  Although sometimes I wonder if the kids ever have fun.  Nothing ever seems good enough.  I mean we were late, one of the kids didn’t ride everything.  We left a little early.  When I ask them they said “Yes! We clearly had fun!” It’s just hard not to second guess myself.  We all fell immediately to sleep when we got home and…..

Got up on Day 7 for our last day before a little break.  I woke up feeling good and excited (although still a little sick) because I knew that although we were doing 4 activities today (which sounds like a lot, but its better than one giant 8 hour run at one giant run at another amusement park) PLUS I knew that on Friday I’d get a break (kind of, more of a maintenance day)

So we gave ourselves 2 hours to get to WB studios and got there on time this timen, despite my daughter barfing on the way, no, I didn’t stop for her (plus we used a better GPS).  It was a 3 hour tour.  I thought it was great, the kids thought it was a little boring, but I think there was some learning.

We went from there to a whale watching tour – however apparently I was wrong… it was just a Harbor Tour, not whale watching.  I thought it was still fun, but Zoe didn’t seem to like it (we’d gone for her).  I thought boats were cool either way, but it seemed that since I had picked the wrong tour everyone was disappointed.  Again, I felt like no matter what I did I was getting it wrong and no one was having fun.  The kids disagreed, however, they weren’t overjoyed.  We then went to the aquarium (also for Zoe) and it was literally the worst aquarium I’d been to.  Especially on the coast!  When the kids were young, I would take them to Petsmart and tell them it was the Aquarium.  It was only slightly better than that.  Again, feeling like a failure.  Zoe isn’t interested in much scholastically except this kind of thing so dropping the ball made be feel awful.

We drove as fast as we could because there was still a chance we could make it into Knotts Berry Farm before 5:30 (the GOCARD tickets we had were only good to let us in by 5:30).  We made it there by 5:29 and I told the older kids to go around the park on their own while I walked Harmony around Kiddie Land.

I remember going to the Amusement park with the kids when they were young and just standing and watching them play.  At the time I resented the fact that they could play and I had to watch, like my life ended when I had kids.  But when my child refused to ride, I had to appreciate the fact that all my children aren’t grown.  I still have one child who is still a young kid and gets scared.  Oftentimes I feel old, especially since I’m in my 40’s, widowed, and didn’t have time to dye my hair before the trip, so I’m very very gray.  It’s nice to think my middle schooler and high schooler can go off and do whatever, but I still have someone who loves me so much, gets afraid of rides and doesn’t want to go anywhere without me.  When Adam died, she became even more addicted to me than she was before.  She tries crawling into my bed most nights (usually successfully since I’m too tired to say otherwise).  She also used to love rollercoasters.  She needs a mom and I will still miss out on all the fun.  But I’m not resentful now (albeit frustrated at times)

We got home past 11 and it was the end of a very long 3 days.  Now onto a little less stress?  Hmmmm

(PS if you hadn’t noticed, I definitely need much much more downtime! Note to self)